Reflecting my abilities as a writer dealing with anxiety.

Help!!! It must suck being a writer who's a perfectionist. This is what I say to myself everytime I put words down in paper and it feels like a dry wound. Ever felt your abilities aren't just enough?  I'm a lot aware it's my thought process doing the most. 

   I make plans scheduling the next morning to work on drafting my first movie script, unable to bring myself to start. It goes on repeatedly like a vicious cycle. Who is going to believe that I enjoy writing as an act but it takes me effort and will power to start something, let alone be convinced enough to drop it off for public read.?? 

    Moving on, there's one thing dealing with 'anxiety' and another in 'perfectionism'. These terms do not sit right at the table for me. Anxiety is a downing phantom. Imagine feeling so at unease because you do not allow your hands and mind express. Exhausting! 99.9% of the time, I'm worried about how I've not written despite plans made up to do the needful, the "perfectionist" in me arises. 

       I am my biggest critic who overthinks. The lot more work comes when I'm criticizing even because somehow when I eventually put words together, some wires in my brain decide that the tenses could be better and or the construction doesn't balance, that urge I have for the article to be perfect overworks me so I'd rather just chill for better ideas to come or I'd rather not start at all.

      I am learning to understand that my fear of losing exceeds the excitement that comes with winning which makes it difficult for me to believe in myself. 

    Once I came to a conclusion that writing is an art and I can do anything I want to provided I set my mind to it, steem steady light channeled way for me.

 || I've come up with a few tips that helps me in proceeding.

               "anyone that can write can write, we just don't practice enough". - Eva Alordiah.

• When I write, I write: I gather my points once and try not to get distracted as this helps idea, tenses and accuracy flow through and smoothly. Also, writing and editing at the same time disturbs one's thought process, so the two cannot/shouldn't be done at the same time. 

• Don't judge yourself: Being that I critcize my piece a lot, I give up the need to judge myself and just decide that writing is important and it cannot be jeopardized with my thoughts about what people would say or even about my own comments.

• Focus on my strength rather than weaknesses: Understanding that dwelling on mistakes can bring me down, I take every setback and use it to my advantage than allowing the fear of mistakes disoriente my mind then focus on the area on my strength and work harder.

• Speak words of affirmation: Words are strong in the context that you mean them. It could make or mar anyone. Affirmations would always work, it brings out the best in one's ability. Simple statements like "I am a good writer" "I am confident in my abilities" go a long way in boosting self confidence and the rush to do more transcends. 

• Have a scheduled time for writing: This is determining what time of each day is dedicated to putting words on paper conveniently expressing thoughts. I've done this for two weeks and I've covered a lot more environmental abstract space of my thoughts in my journal. How progressive!!! 🤩

• Read more books: Reading is important as you cannot draw from an empty well. To read deep and wide, filling yourself with words, vocabularies and ideas is necessary as it helps in articulating one's thought.

• Write and publish: Whatever words it is that is written should be published and not to be kept. The idea of publishing gives encouragement to do better and strive harder.

    Now, these are ways I have been able to reflect my ability as a writer and it has me doing well so far. I realised I could do more and better. The power of my reflection is Mastermind and I'm proud of the result in advance.✨

                                                                    

Note: I've been MIA for two months, no excuses resonates definitely but my sincere and in-depth apologies goes to y'all. This piece is a lot to me and it's smallest details have extended my growth and refined my initiative.Time will tell and I'd shine 🌟 Going forward, I promise to be consistent, in fact, I'd dedicate specific days to updating my blog as it means a lot to me. 

~Thanks for staying loyal to me all the way.