•Getting over him ^_^

Getting over someone you are into is a huge task, it's almost a difficult process and at the moment of desperation may seem impossible.  

   Technically, it took me 3 months of shedding hot tears, overthinking, soliloquizing and self doubt before I got over this person. 

  We had been speaking everyday during the lockdown. We were like 2 peas in a pod and more. As time went on, I started liking this guy. I excused myself severally saying "there's no way I'd talk to someone everyday in a year and not catch feelings, I'm human". I sensed a different energy from him that seemed to me as feelings at some point and oh well I didn't do my proper investigation before concluding and by then it was already late. I had fallen head over heels. 🤸🏽‍♀️

   I made my intentions known to him and he told me blatantly that he didn't feel the same way. Now the mistake I made was not moving on immediately and laying my feelings instead I kept hopes that maybe one day he'd come along. At this point I learnt something

~ you really can't force someone to like you if it's not within their personal conviction.

  It stressed me that I wanted this one guy and he didn't want me too. It hurt! Things became complicated as I started complaining about things I'd ordinarily ignore. I was becoming jealous of someone that's not mine, I knew it was sick but I couldn't control the emotions. I started feeling less of myself, questioning my image and doubting my abilities. I work so hard to build my esteem, everything dropped to no bar. 

 He wasn't making things easier for me either or maybe it was somewhat a 'blessing in disguise'. Little actions he'd make brought my spirit down, he was withdrawing and coming back. I did a lot of wetting the pillow at night. I couldn't commuicate to anyone. It really was a me, myself and I situation. Crying made me feel better everytime, I felt stronger after the act. 

  The period I figured I needed help was when I was reading articles and watching clips on how to grab a man's attention. I started making efforts to get rid of the way I felt. I didn't want to get over him but it was necessary for my sanity. I made this decision when I was ghosted for days without any form of communication. It hurt. I was edgy, anxious and as an over thinker I knew I deserved better. Everyone does.  A part of me wanted to ghost him but it seemed to me as cowardly so I took the following steps that made me arrive at a much better result.

• speaking words of affirmation: I'd stay in front of the mirror and speak positive things to myself like "i am enough", "I am beautiful". These words sinked into my spirit and I started growing confident again little by little.

• engaged in my hobby: I wrote alot and took lot of pictures. I channeled all the anger and pain into things I loved. I invested in myself. It helped in putting my mind at ease.

• got busy: I got busy. I did lots of assignments, signed up to online classes for self development and found myself helping people alot. I was occupied just so I don't have no single chance of thinking about him or possiblities of us together.

• avoided memories: I tried as much as possible to avoid memories of us together. I realized that not getting rid of memories was sparking more interests. I stopped listening to music he recommended, I wasn't listening to artists he liked, I cleared our old texts and pictures. It helped me with having a mindset of starting afresh. 

• speaking with new people: I had cut ties with every single person I was friends with after I got attached to him. I made effort to retrace my steps and I got talking to new people and about completely different subjects asides relationships. 

• reduced texting time: I had reduced texting time with him. Usually, I'd reply almost or immediately his message came up. Our texting duration was dropping, I felt the urge to address it again but I reminded myself of the progress I wanted and I stopped bothering myself about whenever he texted or however way he texted.

• cut ties with the person: At times you might need to cut ties with whomever you're finding it difficult to leave. In situations like this, depending on who you are and how you manage rejection, this part might/can be necessary. You should communicate with the person and let him/her know you need a break from texting and leave or just stop trying to stress it if the person isn't reaching out or reciprocating the energy you're giving. I wouldn't advice ghosting on anybody because I find communication key. Let the other party know this is the decision you've taken. I didn't take this step because I already felt good about myself and I had stopped doing the things I'd do initially. 

     The struggle helped with self realization, hence the journey. I'm in a good place, I feel good about everything. He made me realize I needed to work on myself more. Certainly no regrets meeting him.

     ~I'm glad I took this journey, healing takes a long time but it's worth it. I walked through Love, Hope and Faith but I'm happy now.

•share with me your journey if you've ever had to go through any. I hope these tips help whomever is finding it difficult to get over someone as much as it has helped me. 

                   Cc: Trish✨